I will drink more whisky smoke more fags
waste my cash on dogs and nags
ignore my friends, never phone
leave some kids home alone
leave the garden overgrown
moan about the things i own
overdose on casualty
spend a year in A and E
i will be all i can be
kill a scientist mid career
this time next year

 

 

Be uncreative undemonstrate
stop free love and start free hate
burn the Booker, turn to the right
always get an early night
have implants, botox , liposuction
a trout pout wards off mass destruction
take more risks, court disaster
use the trains, drive much faster
get photographed by every Gatso
up yours ugly two jags fatso
pissed, uninsured, no MOT
i will be all i can be
make world hunger disappear
this time next year

 

 

Prove that there is life on mars
find a cure for aids and sars
start a chain of seedy bars
assault pop idols with guitars
get caught with hookers, get arrested
become the uks most detested
find a bishop for hushed up sex
take the heat off Posh and Becks
go catholic from C of E
win big brother praise ID
i will be all i can be
reclaim my roots by drinking beer
this time next year

 

 

Start a war and build a bomb
terrorise and kill someone
blow the world to kingdom come
dumb down till i am truly dumb
wave more flags, deploy some tanks
for fatal fire from friendly yanks
I'll do yoga, I'll bend over
the pose of a poodle to your pose of rover
sack my work force, increase my margins
u turn on congestion charging
make India the epicentre
call centre heroes, so new polenta
rename the fateful top up fee
win some award for industry
get myself an OBE
i will be all i can be
come up with politics next big idea
this time next year

 

 

 

Copyright © Geoff Allnutt (The Speech Painter) 2004

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