ACRONYM
Copyright © Geoff Allnutt (The Speech Painter) 1996

We wanna give we wanna give we wanna give
we wanna give we wanna give we wanna give
we wanna give

BSE to a JCB and CJD to the CJA
LSD to the CID and a KOto the KKK
TB to BT and VD to TV
MS to the SAS and SM to the CPS
Our RSVP to the RT HON MP
Will be a one day trip in a 2CV
From A TO Z by TNT

So you'd better not mess with Atomic Lip
Just sit back and enjoy the trip
Watch us take out TLS
Like 007 on HMS
Sharp shooting well dressed
More DKNY than M&S/BHS
We'll make NWA look like C&A
We'll M16 anyone who gets in our way
'Cause we're shooting ICBMs right into your soul
At the ICA poetry's the new rock and roll
From NCY to NW1 we're flying higher than a UFO
XFiles will need another new show
And if you think the hype is OTT
We've got a black book like the KGB

Next

We want to make the NF very PC
VCR them with JVC
A PG film call it M&Ms
That's the colour they'll be after our DMs
Have kick kick kicked them at 100 BPMs
They'll be screaming SOS and for TLC
And we're gonna dance like we're onE
Then

We'll take BNFL to the EEC
And have them tried by CND
Give a MOT to every single PC
All failures are hit with a HGV
Arrest BP for TDA
Deny BA an ETA
Take the DNA of the BNP
And wipe it away with TCP
Set our K9 on ITV
Take an AK47 to the TSB
And the IMF ASAP

Now Mr S.T.D. is reading H&E
Fantasising over the bottom of Mrs B
A 36 DOUBLED RGN in black PVC
Meanwhile as she spreads her FOREST
He pockets 20K from BAT
The government may warn but don't want to see
That JPS and B&H cause the very BIGC
Try telling that to the OAP
Coughing on the respirator soon 2B RIP

And MAFF's gone to war in the EU
We need a cool head like an M or a Q
A man from UNCLE would probably do
But they sent a rabid rightwinger in blue
They're back on the beaches fighting the Hun
Knocking back BECKS as they sit in the sun
England's out LBW we beat the SS
Now PAs DIE for a BMW
A finger's on the pause button at WW2
As two FO fingers swap Vs for FUs
They've got cafe culture we got U2
If only they'd launch a V1 or V2
The tunnel connects us that's about it
They've an ode to joy and we're full of shit
So

We gonna give we gonna give we gonna give
we gonna give we gonna give we gonna give
we gonna give

Gonna give BUPA ECT
Force the DSSto live in B&B
Over P&O doors spray WD40
Pour VSOPon my UB40
Generally muck about play up and be naughty
Do ABH to the DOT
Let the ALF run the DOE
Take the MOD to the ICJ
Screw them without KY for 364 and a day
Put HRH on YTS
ACDC all straights to dress to impress
Infect B SKY B with NSU
And give the BBFC a BCU
We're no JCs we love to fight back
We're not MELLOW BIRDS we're white heat and pure black
We're veggie militants pushing TSP
We want to massacre McDonalds and explode KFC
And not just do it BBQ

But YUPPIES still get up in the AM
Drink their mugs of PG
At 6 they hit the 7-11 and buy their daily FT

AMEC CALAEBC CASMOREXAMIBC Share share issue issue buy buy sell
RTZ RJB MAMADTM&WTBIEISTGI Boom crash bust boom crash bust
GKN IBMASWNSM P&P BPPGRE AT&T Share share issue issue buy buy sell
BTPMAIAIMFKICRHSIGCSRBOC Boom crash bust boom crash bust
BTRPCTCRANECGEIAPVBBABET Share share issue issue buy buy sell

So better start praying to the CofE
To when the new day dawns where they earn 10P
Where fraudulent MDs stay not in
THFs but HMPs
Where BOBOhigh flyers IV and OD
Where us take them and fell the MNCs
Where we walk past laughing as they beg on their knees

Do try and keep up you don't need ESP
a BA a MA or a GCSE
Cause we're TOTP of all NOPs
And all the poor DJs are still in their PJs
With no LP or CD we live through a PA
A&R fromRCA A&M and HMV
Don't mean nothing if you can't MC
Don't mean nothing if you can't RAP

So

We'll take a sharp 2H or B
And perform a D&C
On the architects of UKPLC
Plug DCinto the DTI
Strap them down and watch them fry
Then torture the leaders of the CBI
In a VAT of crisp and dry
Don't want to use DHLor the GPO
To send the PMa letter
We'll deliver DIYon a BMX
The personal touch is better

The adverts may say that it's good to talk
But our preferred choice is GBH SWALK
Sealed with a loving kick
Or a BOLTOP right out of the blue
Better On Lips Than On Paper
Better On Lips Than OnPaper
For they've stolen our family silver
And returned EPNS and an IOU

Gonna need OMOto take away the stain
Gonna need NEUROFEN to take away the pain
We've already got MTV to take away our brain
But we're gonna need PROZAC to try and keep us sane

PS

You're captured on CCTV
You've been tagged bagged and ID
So clap and scream dance your approval
Or a HRP will be used in removal
For we've SDIs in our eyes
And 45s pointing at your head
DOA terminal nothing zilch dead
That's what will happen if you don't say we're great
Your long life ahead of you will abbreviate

Abbreviate Abbreviate Abbreviate

So you must learn to love what you hate
Language is a tool to manipulate
A hidden code to confuse and complicate
With jargon to tie wound kill and decimate
But we're gonna fight back talk quick and demonstrate
Language is a tool which also can infiltrate
The way we see the world and the way we communicate.

 

 

GLOSSARY

BSE - BOVINE SPONGIFORM ENCEPHALOPATHY
JCB - EARTH MOVER
CJD - CREUZFELD JACOB DISEASE
LSD - LYSERGIC ACID DIETHYCAMIDE - AN HALLUCINOGENIC DRUG
CID - CRIMINAL INVESTIGATION DEPARTMENT
KO - KNOCK OUT
KKK - KU KLUX KLAN
CJA - CRIMINAL JUSTICE ACT
TB - TUBERCULOSIS
BT - BRITISH TELECOM
VD - VENEREAL DISEASE
TV - TELEVISION
MS - MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS
SAS - SPECIAL AIR SERVICE
SM - SADO MASOCHISM
CPS - CROWN PROSECUTION SERVICE
RSVP - RESPONDEZ S'IL VOUS PLAIT
RT HON MP - RIGHT HONOURABLE MEMBER OF PARLIAMENT
2CV - CITROEN CAR
A TO Z - ONE PLACE TO ANOTHER
TNT - 7, 4, 6 - TRINITROTOLUENE - A HIGH EXPLOSIVE
TLS - TIMES LITERARY SUPPLEMENT
007 - JAMES BOND (SECRET AGENT)
HMS - HER MAJESTY'S SERVICE
DKNY - HIP EXPENSIVE CLOTHES SHOP
M&S - MARKS & SPENCER CLOTHING AND FOOD SHOP
BHS - BRITISH HOME STORES CLOTHES SHOP
NWA - NIGGERS WITH ATTITUDE (RAP BAND)
C&A - CLOTHES SHOP
M16 - A GUN
ICBM - INTERCONTINENTAL BALLISTIC MISSILE
ICA - INSTITUTE OF CONTEMPORARY ARTS
NYC - NEW YORK CITY
NW1 - NORTH WEST ONE - DISTRICT OF LONDON
UFO - UNIDENTIFIED FLYING OBJECT
X FILES - SCIENCE FICTION TV SHOW
OTT - OVER THE TOP
KGB - SOVIET SECRET POLICE
NF - NATIONAL FRONT
PC - POLITICALLY CORRECT
VCR - VIDEO RECORDER
JVC - MAKER OF ELECTRICAL EQUIPMENT
PG - PARENTAL GUIDANCE
M&Ms - MULTI-COLOURED CHOCOLATE SWEETS
DMs - DR MARTEN BOOTS
BPM - BEATS PER MINUTE
SOS - DISTRESS SIGNAL
TLC - TENDER LOVING CARE
E - ECSTACY
BNFL - BRITISH NUCLEAR FUELS LTD
EEC - EUROPEAN ECONOMIC COMMUNITY
CND - CAMPAIGN FOR NUCLEAR DISARMAMENT
MOT - YEARLY ROAD VEHICLE TEST
PC - POLICE CONSTABLE
HGV - HEAVY GOODS VEHICLE
BP - BRITISH PETROLEUM
TDA - TAKING AND DRIVING AWAY
BA - BRITISH AIRWAYS
ETA - ESTIMATED TIME OF ARRIVAL
DNA - GENETIC CODE OF LIFE
BNP - BRITISH NATIONAL PARTY
TCP - DISINFECTANT
K9 - A DOG
ITV - TV CHANNEL
AK47 - A GUN
TSB - TRUSTEE SAVINGS BANK
IMF - INTERNAL MONETARY FUND
STD - SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASE
H&E - HEALTH AND EFFICIENCY NATURIST MAGAZINE
36 DOUBLE D - BREAST SIZE
RGN - REGISTERED GENERAL NURSE
PVC - PLASTIC
FOREST - FREEDOM OF RIGHT TO ENJOY SMOKING TOBACCO
20K - TWENTY THOUSAND POUNDS
BAT - BRITISH AMERICAN TOBACCO
JPS - MAKE OF CIGARETTE
B&H - MAKE OF CIGARETTE
BIG C - CANCER
OAP - OLD AGE PENSIONER
2B - TO BE
RIP - REST IN PEACE
MAFF - MINISTRY OF AGRICULTURE FISHERIES AND FOOD
EU - EUROPEAN UNION
M - CHARACTER FROM JAMES BOND FILMS
X - CHARACTER FROM JAMES BOND FILMS
UNCLE - TV SHOW WITH SECRET AGENTS
LBW - LEG BEFORE WICKET
SS - PARAMILITARY ORGANISATION WITHIN NAZI PARTY
PA - PERSONAL ASSISTANT
BMW - MAKE OF CAR
WW2 - WORLD WAR TWO
FO - FOREIGN OFFICE
V - VICTORY
FU - FUCK YOU
V1 - GERMAN ROCKET
V2 - GERMAN ROCKET
BUPA - PRIVATE MEDICAL INSURANCE ORGANISATION
ECT - ELECTROCONVULSIVE THERAPY AKA SHOCK TREATMENT
DSS - DEPARTMENT OF SOCIAL SECURITY
B&B - BED AND BREAKFAST
P&O - FERRY COMPANY
WD40 - SPRAY LUBRICANT FOR ELECTRIC AND MECHANICS
VSOP - BRANDY
UB40 - UNEMPLOYMENT BENEFIT FORM
ABH - ACTUAL BODILY HARM
DOT - DEPARTMENT OF TRANSPORT
ALF - ANIMAL LIBERATION FRONT
DOE - DEPARTMENT OF ENVIRONMENT
MOD - MINISTRY OF DEFENCE
ICJ - INTERNATIONAL COURT OF JUSTICE
KY - LUBRICATING JELLY
HRH - HIGH ROYAL HIGHNESS
YTS - YOUTH TRAINING SCHEME
ACDC - BISEXUAL
B SKY B - SATELLITE TV STATION
NSU - NON-SPECIFIC URETHRITIS
BBFC - BRITISH BOARD OF FILM CENSORS
BCU - BIG CLOSE-UP
JC - JESUS CHRIST
TSP - TEXTURED SOYA PROTEIN
KFC - KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN
BBQ - BARBECUE
AM - MORNING
PG - PG TIPS TEA
7-11 - CONVENIENCE STORE
FT - FINANCIAL TIMES
MNC - MULTI-NATIONAL COMPANY
CofE - CHURCH OF ENGLAND
MD - MANAGING DIRECTOR
THF - TRUSTHOUSE FORTE (HOTELS)
HMP - HER MAJESTY'S PRISON
BOBO - BURNT OUT BUT OPULENT
IV - INTRAVENOUS
OD - OVERDOSE
ESP - EXTRA SENSORY PERCEPTION
BA - BACHELOR OF ARTS DEGREE
MA - MASTER OF ARTS DEGREE
GCSE - GENERAL CERTIFICATE OF SECONDARY EDUCATION
TOTP - TOP OF THE POPS
NOP - NATIONAL OPINION POLLS
DJ - DISC JOCKEY
PJ - PYJAMAS
LP - LONG-PLAYING RECORD
CD - COMPACT DISC
A&R - TALENT SPOTTERS FOR RECORD COMPANIES
RCA - RECORD COMPANY
A&M - RECORD COMPANY
HMV - RECORD COMPANY
MC - MASTER OF CEREMONIES
2H - PENCIL
B - PENCIL
D&C - DILATION AND CURETTAGE OF THE UTERUS
UK - UNITED KINGDOM
PLC - PUBLIC LIMITED COMPANY
DC - DIRECT CURRENT
DTI - DEPARTMENT OF TRADE AND INDUSTRY
CBI - CONFEDERATION OF BRITISH INDUSTRIES
VAT - VALUE ADDED TAX
DHL - PARCEL DELIVERY SERVICE
GPO - GENERAL POST OFFICE
PM - PRIME MINISTER
DIY - DO IT YOURSELF
BMX - PUSH BIKE
GBH - GRIEVOUS BODILY HARM
SWALK - SEALED WITH A LOVING KISS
BOLTOP - BETTER ON LIPS THAN ON PAPER
EPNS - SILVER PLATE
IOU - I OWE YOU
MTV - MUSIC TELEVISION
CCTV - CLOSED CIRCUIT TELEVISION
ID - IDENTIFIED
HRP - HUMAN REMAINS POUCH AKA BODY BAG
SDI - STRATEGIC DEFENCE INITIATIVE AKA STAR WARS
45 - SIZE OF GUN
DOA - DEAD ON ARRIVAL